motherhood

Where we left our heroine at the end of the last episode, she was on her way to pick Minnow up from daycare. Work day's over right? Should be smooth sailing from here to midnight. Maybe, maybe not. (Note to Lab Lemming: Don't worry about the time to type up these posts. They were compiled from short emails I sent to myself throughout the day...this is lazy blogging.) 5:20 Arrive at daycare. Have the following conversation: Teacher 1: So-and-so's parents just had a baby boy. Teacher 2: Yeah, and Tyler's parents are having a girl. Me: Tyler's mom is pregnant? Seems like…
Last September, I chronicled my journey through a fairly typical weekday as a first year assistant professor with an infant. The day started early and never really ended, so it took me three posts to tell the whole story (1, 2, 3). I always intended to revisit the project again, but it's taken me 14 months to do so. Now I'm a second year assistant professor with an almost 2 year old and life seems only slightly less hectic. Below the fold, follow me as I get my day going. I'm going to spread this day out into multiple posts spanning most of the week, so you'll have to keep coming back to…
From my email box: My name is Annie Fox and I am a graduate student in Social Psychology at the University of Connecticut. Currently, I am conducting a study examining the role of blogging in the lives of Academic mothers. We have identified you as a potential participant because your blog came up in our web search for relevant blogs. Consequently, we would like to invite you to participate in our research study. Your participation would involve the completion of an anonymous online survey. The survey contains a mixture of multiple-choice and open-response questions, and should take less…
Hat tip to a reader who pointed me at this recent Chronicle article by two women scientists who tell their stories of bringing their infants along to their field research sites. And pretty hardcore stuff too. Two months in the Yukon studying snow for an assistant professor (Joan Ramage Macdonald), and peat bog research by a Ph.D. student (Maura Sullivan). When I read the article, I felt a wave of familiarity wash over me. Minnow accompanied me in the field several times during my post-doc The story of her first field experience is here. Below the fold, key recommendations from the Chronicle…
Dear Administrators, I understand that Dr. Bigwig in a field related to -ology is coming to campus this week and that we're all very excited to have him here. I'm glad that we are throwing a reception before his lecture. Free food is good. I even support the decision to move Dr. Bigwig's provcatively titled lecture to the evening, in the hope that the general public will be lured onto campus to hear him speak. But please lay off the pressure on the faculty to attend the event. We'd like to come. We're interested in the topic. (We like free fancy food.) We even like to occasionally mingle…
Are reading the cheeky and well-illustrated Dr. Isis? If so, you'll already know that she's well on her way to meeting her goal of being a domestic and laboratoy goddess. But I had to laugh when I caught with one of her recent entries. In the post she decries the claiming on her sacred adults-only second floor with innumerable toys, art supplies, etc. Why did I laugh? Because this was the scene in my home office as I read her post. Figure 1. Minnow hard at work in her mommy's office. Please note the open desk drawers indicating that mommy's stationery is now being shoved into the kitchen…
Money is on my mind a lot this semester. First, there's the grant writing marathon. And then there's the personal budgetary shortfall. Without a second income, we run a several hundred dollar per month shortfall. I've trimmed the fat from the budget and we're eating through the small amount of savings we had squirreled away. Soon it will be time to think about more drastic measures. And there's one big item looming large in my nightmares of financial ruin - the almost $1200 per month that I am paying for Minnow's truly excellent daycare where she is very happy and well cared for. Why is…
For reasons that I don't even pretend to understand, Baby Jane has entered an extreme Mommy Attachment phase. Most of the time, she's her normal, independent toddler self. The rest of the time, she apparently feels some strong need to be held by me or to attach herself to my legs or whatever other body part is available. (Or, my personal favorite, to call out for me randomly in the middle of the night. And it usually goes something like "Mooooommmmmy Moooooommmmmmmy MommyMommyMommyMommy...." Good times.) It's gotten so extreme that she actually had a major meltdown tonight when I handed…
Doesn't that sound scandalous? Sadly, it's not scandalous. But it is pretty darn cool: I just signed up for free childcare. At a computer science conference, no less. Yes, of course I'm talking about the Grace Hopper Conference. Continuing their fine tradition of being one of the coolest conferences ever, GHC (as of last year, I think?) now offers childcare. And it's free. Free, available, convenient childcare! Even during the banquet! (Not during the Friday night festivities, I noticed, but other than that, the hours are really good.) What a concept! This will be my third conference…
...absolutely no worse feeling in the world, than watching your child being loaded into the back of an ambulance. Baby Jane is just fine now---it was more of a scare than anything else, nothing seriously wrong. But I can honestly say that I've never felt as scared or as totally helpless as I did then, and I hope to never, ever, ever experience that again as long as I live.
Tonight marked another motherhood rite of passage. I'd been dreading this one, but it was truly time for it to happen. I threw out the remainder of the breast milk in the freezer. It had been there five months and three weeks - dating to the period when Minnow had transitioned to the toddler room and I was trying to decrease my milk production enough to stop pumping during the work day. Shortly after that time, Minnow began refusing pumped breast milk at all, so all that lovely milk just sat in the freezer until it reached its expiration date. So I took the bottles out of the freezer and…
It's been a while since I've done an official Baby Jane update. In fact, I don't think I've done a proper one since I migrated over from the old site! Time flies. So, what is Baby Jane (now Toddler Jane, I guess) up to these days? Basically, it can be summed up in three areas: Movement, Language Acquisition, and Playtime. Movement: Baby Jane's been walking for a while now, and has definitely perfected the art. She is a very physical kid. She walks, tries to run, twirls, dances, tiptoes, and climbs. Oh, does she climb. So far, the climbing has been mostly limited to chairs, stairs,…
So I attended a pedagogy workshop this week and I brought Minnow along. For those not keeping track, she's now almost 18 months old and still going strong with the nursing (>= 2 x/day, >=2x/night). When I signed up for the workshop, I'd intended her to stay with my mom in Midwest, but in the end she came with me instead. The workshop organizers have been fantastically accommodating, and I want to give a shout-out to the other participants who have been super-friendly and helpful. (Especially, Kim. Thanks!) But I still feel like a trouble maker. There are plenty of other moms here. Some…
The theme of this month's Scientiae carnival is "Added Weight: Taking up Space." This theme is very timely for me, since I've been thinking about this topic lately---a lot. And, readers of the old blog may remember that my "theme" for the year is FEARLESS. Well, you can't really be fearless if you're trying to be invisible, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to take stock of what I'm doing this year to be true to the theme and, thus, to take up space in the world. 1. I am more direct in the way I communicate with people, particularly colleagues, but students as well. If there'…
So I meant to have a nice post today addressing Ecogeofemme's challenge of describing how we write papers/proposals, but I haven't actually managed to do any writing today like I was supposed to. Instead, I am going to point out the at times thoughtful, at times heated discussion going on around the blogosphere about whether academics with kids really have it harder than the rest of working adults. The discussion originated from an IHE piece about new studies that found that academics had lower birth rates than doctors or lawyers. From there, Dean Dad wrote a post with his observations on…
My small friend Anni, on the left wearing the crown in this Christmas photo (with her sister Frankie) is 7. She is waiting for her third liver transplant. Last week, she was taken from our town to Chicago in an ambulance because of a particularly heavy bleed, and although the bleeding has now slowed, her hepatic artery is narrowed, and her doctors think she might have Graft Versus Host Disease. I don't know what all this means except it's bad. Her mom Moreena blogs about Anni and Frankie here and sounds petrified. Moreena's previous post was about the neighbor girl down the block who…
In honor of Mother's Day, and in honor of the one-year anniversary of Baby Jane's appearance on Planet Earth, here, in no particular order, are the top five things I've learned from being a mom this past year. And, as a bonus, how each of these lessons can be applied to my career. 5. All plans are tentative. Life is probably not going to work out exactly as I'd like, so be prepared, have an exit strategy/Plan B, and keep my CV updated, just in case. 4. There are some things I can control, like bedtimes and mealtimes. Most everything else, though, is out of my control, and once I accept…
* Baby Jane is walking. I'm thrilled. And panicking. Luckily, she's still slow, but given how fast she can crawl....well, let's just say I fear for my future. * I'm working on Part 3 in the series Is Computer Science a Science? (parts 1, 1a, and 2 here). Part 3 will cover computer science's relationship to engineering. At the very least, it will serve as a welcome break from my bitching and moaning about the state of children's clothing. * Also brewing in the "future posts" category: reflections on my first year of motherhood and the school year, and the whole adjustment to the working…
Dear Extended Jane Family, We here at Jane Family headquarters are so appreciative of the love and affection you have for and share with Baby Jane. You are all so thoughtful, and generous, and loving, that it really overwhelms us sometimes. But... (hey, you knew there had to be a but, right?) I think it's important for you all to understand this one thing: Baby Jane does not wear dresses. Ever. OK, not "never", but "rarely". Really. Let's examine why: 1. Baby Jane spends a good part of her week in daycare. It is a rare day when Baby Jane comes home from daycare (a) wearing the same…
A numerical synopsis of my weekend: Number of sick babies in household: 1 Doses of Tylenol administered: 6 Amount of vomit cleaned up: 1 metric ton Amount of baby snot/drool/various secretions on clothing: 3 pounds Number of outings canceled: 3 Loads of laundry done: 1 Loads of laundry typically done on a "normal" weekend: 5 Net laundry: -4 Hours of work done Saturday: 1.5 (yeah, I know, this violates the whole Saturdays off thing) Hours of work done Sunday: 8 Percentage of work that needed to be done that was completed: 90% Stress level (1-10 scale): 10 at start of day, 3 now…