Quick hit

They "get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them."

They, in this case, are not worthless socialites and Hollywood starlets, but elephants in northeastern India, and the speaker is none other than Paris Hilton, who went on to comment that "It is just so sad."

That sound you just heard? My irony meter exploding.

In any case, between the rampaging monkeys and the elephants, India sounds like a madhouse!

Update: Apparently not.

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