George Carlin died yesterday.
I always loved his comedy, but more important to me Carlin affirmed my atheism at a time in my life when I didn't really know anyone else who felt that way. He poked fun at religion, and listening to his comedy made me feel like I wasn't weird to note the considerable irregularities.
Anyway, here is his best jab at religion:
When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion. Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now, you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know, when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger, filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades. Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on his all-powerful ass a long time ago.
It goes on, so read the whole thing.
George Carlin RIP.
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Joe Bless You, my Son!
He used to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...:(
He's Dead and before God with an f'd up look on his face as God is laughing his ass off at him. Dumbshits
I find it really funny that Anna can write 'Dumbshits' and has to self censor 'fucked'.
Whereever he is - I bet it's hot there. HA- HA!
Peter,
As from Carlin's other routine:
"And we mentioned shit earlier, of course. Two of the other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go together of course. But forget about that. A little accidental humor there. Piss and Cunt. The reason Piss and Cunt are on the list is that a long time ago certain ladies said 'Those are the two I am not going to say. I don't mind Fuck and Shit, but P and C are out. P and C are out.' Which led to such stupid sentences as 'OK, you fuckers, I am going to tinkle now.'
http://blogs.villagevoice.com/bushbeat/archives/2008/06/say_it_aint_so…
Of course God is laughing his ass off just like the rest of us did!
Unfortunately, I'm afraid that's not what Anna meant......
To people like Anna, you fool's were the mainstay of Carlin's jokes! The laugh is once again on YOU!
I personally believe in a loving, caring God. I also believe that Mr. Carlin now holds this same belief. I hope and pray for his soul. May Almighty God have mercy on him and all of us.
We should mourn for George. A great wit who turned his bitterness against God into self-damning diatribes. A total and complete lack of reverence for God (though he had a lot of reason to ridicule religious behavior). One can joke like he did all his life without consequence - but after death comes the judgment, and there will be no more adoring audience.
I Feel Compelled To Make One More Comment. If One Believes In God ( Protestant, Jewish, Muslim,Roman Catholic, Or Otherwise),Some Day We Will All Know Who Was Right And Who Was Wrong. And If The Atheists Are Right, Then Our Beliefs Won't Matter Anyway. By The Way,I Am Roman Catholic.
To all the moron religious zombies on here - you should, just for a day or two, attempt unplugging your brain from the religious propaganda machine and attempt to stand on your own two feeble intellectual feet. You might realize how you are a cog in a giant mill whose only purpose is to maintain your stupidity to further advance those who control the population. I personally am disgusted at how you all can be so blind to the obvious truth that Carlin spoke on religion - may this virus be wiped from our planet soon.
You know George Carlin was one of my favorite comedians and what pisses me off is the fact that a few close minded god worshipping motherfuckers decide to go to an athiest website and talk shit! Those people fail to realize that man made religon to explain the natural forces that drive our world and since then man has developed a little thing that I like to call the scientific process. And because of this process there is no room for god. Its sad that so many people who believe in god feel it neccesary to impose their beliefs upon others. (The really sad part is the fact that these people can vote!) If what I said did not register I leave you with my favorite quote.
"The wisest men follow their own direction." - Euripides
(Follow your own god damn direction and I will follow mine ass hole!)
(If anyone wants to email me and discuss religon or politics you can email me at thehartgraves@yahoo.com)
everyone can argue and debate all they want if there is a God,but right now george is sure and wishing he knew sooner.don't wait till its too late. religions are man made but God is real and we will all stand before him and have to account for how we lived our lives. DON"T make the same mistake george did confusing religion with relationship to a loving GOD.!!!!
To all of you religious nuts: You can be sure that George would be telling you to take your blessings, religion (crutch), and your god, and go fuck yourselves....undoubtedly as a quote. Your God is the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, and Santa Clause for adults....a myth. Jesus didn't die for our sins, he died because he pissed off the Romans and they killed him for being a troublemaker, remember David Koresh??? Same story, different time. Your fundamental flaw is that you stupidly believe your faith is all encompasing, and that it even applies to those of us that don't believe in your "invisible man in the sky" (sounds stupid doesn't it?). THAT, is arrogance, and based on your beliefs and teachings........IS A SIN. Save it for your cult friends, because George doesn't give a shit and neither does the rest of educated society. You'll notice how I removed you from "educated".
okay, for the people who believe in Gos I have a question: Why, please tell me why are you HERE? Is it God's word that made you search 'atheism' or something alike on google or whatever searching engine? And didn't your Jesus said that you must respect other peopel and their believes.
By the way, if we're talkign about Jesus, he once said apparently) to his people to 'Follow the straight path, even if it is harder'. the straight path, which is harder can be seen as atheism. can't you see that is SO much easier to believe in God and life after death. This is indeed a sweet lie. So comforting. I lived it as well. But I dared to take 'the straight path', the path that had evidence, that requires you to THINK for yourself and be brave: atheism.
And another two other things for you to think about:
1. You know there arereligions that don't require the belief in God, but that teach of life after death (e.g. reincarnation). now, if I was to be born in aa country at a family who didn't teach me about God and I would have died without believing in God, I would have gone to hell, right? How FUCKING fair is this? This makes God unfair. And please, try to THINK! I am right.
2. An atheist would never want to kill a religious man. But a religious man would kill an atheist. I'm not talking necesarily about you, but I bet tehre are thousands out there.
Just think. Evidence is not the tool of the devil, but of TRUTH.
Even if god does turn out to be real...I will have no problem walking myself into hell. I would never want to spend eternity with some sado-mascist, genocidal, awful god. He wants our love? Then why the hell are we here, he knew all this was going to happen, so he created a whole race of humanity just to send half of them to hell...
IM PROUD TO BE A HEATHEN
Ideology of any kind is the refuge of the feeble minded. Critical thinking requires a certain lack of bias. Yes, when we die we will find out who is right--what's the point though.
We are charged with a life, use the only thing you have (and know for certain) well.
I mourn the death of a great atheist. There are too few of us in this goofy country.
I too was an athiest until 30, and there was nothing anyone was going to tell me to change that. BUT I met someone who tried and I just wanted to escape from them, but they made me pray if God was real HE would reveal Himself to me.That following week , God, not man revealed to me HE was real.As for walking yourself into hell, thats easy to say when you dont believe in it but when it turns out to be real,not so easy!!! I cant say anything to change your minds,but try to pray and ask God to reveal Himself to you. If nothing happens your probably on the right path and maybe Im delusional. There must be one scientific mind out there willing to try this experiment!
The stories in Christianity are all myths and most of them are borrowed myths from other religions especially religions(that we now call Pagan religions) that were around at the time of the Roman empire. You think Mary was the first Virgin Mother? Do some research and you'll find that her story in not unique. Christians stole the b-day of a Pagan sun god and said it was Jesus's b-day. It's hard for me to believe that in this day and age people still cling to these stories and pray to an invisible man in the sky. To all the Chrisitians out there: on behalf of George Carlin please please don't pray for his soul because he wouldn't want that. Instead pray that his soul burn for eternity in hell. He'd get a better kick out of that.
Hey guy with the god dream or whatever it says in your book that you cannot look upon god because it would kill you. Lol you are dillusional!!! I would know about your book too cause I used to read it back when I thought I knew how things were and how they came to be. People need to realize that the days of church and gods are over! Man developed religion and its ideas to explain what could not be explained and now we are beginning to see the world with new eyes because we have evolved our brains and we see how much of our world works.
All you religious fanatics denie science and give all the credit to god; even though there is plenty of evidence and facts that state otherwise.
First of all I would like to thank Jake for posting all viewpoints on this bolg. It isn't much of a conversation if Christians aren't allowed to get on and voice an opposing position just like it isn't much of conversation if atheist aren't allowed to post on a Christian blog. All the things that the atheists are saying about God has been predicted for over 1500 years. The Bible clearly states that people are going to leave God, follow other teachings, believe that they have grown more intelligent than God, and that they know better than God or His followers. It is no suprise that people would claim this. What is suprising is how nasty some atheists are about it. The name calling,the cursing, the put-downs; that is really not necessary. If atheist are right and there is no God,then what difference does it make if people believe there is a God? If this is how we choose to live and you believe there is no God, why does it bother you so much? Why are you offended by a God that you do not believe exists? If you do not want to believe then don't. There are no laws in this country to force you to believe and The Church has no intention to try to start any. So why try to pass so many laws to stop Christians from expressing their faith? If atheist truly do love their fellow man then treat those of us who have chosen to believe in God like you love us. Not all of us are judgmental jerks. Some of love you no matter what you believe. I believe in Jesus, you don't, no problem. I am not going to force you to. I would hope that at some point you see the light but that is out of love and concern for your eternal soul, not to try to force you to live a certain way right now.
Also, we do not deny science. Science has its purpose and its purpose it to reveal how God accomplished what He accomplished not to disprove Him. The only parts of science that the Christian community has issue with are the ones that even the scientific community admits haven't been prove by the fact that they call them theories. Somehow these theories get taught as fact and other ideas and opinions are not allowed to be taught (I refer back to the beginning of my comment). And, there are more ways for God to reveal Himself to us than by physically standing before us in His purest form, which Nathan is right, would kill us. The same book that states that also shows many other ways in which God revealed Himself.
If George Carlin is burning in Hell today, I doubt very seriously he is getting a kick out of it and neither would anyone else if they were faced with the reality of it. Lastly, God did not totally mess up this world. Man did, and out of God's love for us He respects the freewill He gave us enough to not step in and forcably fix-it. He did step in and give us a way to fix it but most reject Him and many who do not reject Him really do not live by His teachings the way He taught them. Besides, if someone is an atheist, how can they blame God for the shape the world is in? One thing both sides agree on is that man messed it up, and I hope that man can make it right again by going to the only source that can make that possible; the one who created it! Love to all.
If god created us...perfect and loving god...its our fault we messed up? I dont get it. Plus how do we have free will...if there's god's will too? He knows whos going to heaven and whos going to hell right? If he didnt he would be omnipotent. And using the bible doesnt help your case. It has hundreds of mistakes, vague sayings mistaken has prophecies, forgeries, translations, failed prophecies, contradictions, and endorsement for barbariansm.
If you had a child and he made a mistake...and you werent there personally, u just left a note and he had to believe you were there...is it really the child's fault? Its not our fault god didnt give us a good enough design to please his ego.
I'm not an atheist, i'm a cathlioc, but not a weekly church goer. i found george carlin funny as hell. ok so he was an atheist, that didnt bother me, for i still thought he was kewl regardless of his beliefs. what does bother me is i resent people thinking since i'm not an atheist i use religion as a crutch. i dont use my religion as a crutch. i have a brain and use it. and i dont worry about what would jesus think. For the way me and my other 3 sliblings were brought up, we were brought up to stand on our own two feet and use our brains.
Ok. So you do not accept the Holy Bible to be accurate. Show me one failed prophecy from the Word. As for vague sayings, shouldn't atheist prefer those types of sayings that leave room for individual interpretation and application? Forgeries, no other historical book in the world passes the bibliographical tests for authenticity nearly as well and the Holy Bible but no one questions thier accuracy. They only question this one because it convicts them about the way they are living. Translations: that is why one should study more than one translation as well as concordances and commentaries. Contradictions: you have the old Jewish law that was carried way too far by the religious leaders of the day and you have the fulfillment of the actual law. No contradictions just the way it used to have to be done and the fulfillment of those efforts. Barbarianism: It was either punishment against a people whom had adopted and endorsed very barbaric practices themselves such as forced prostitution, rape, and human sacrifice of infants and all ages. If brutal attacks and slayings happened by the people's own desire for blood and victory they met with stiff consequences so no, barbarianism was not endorsed, it was punished.
Of course God gave us freewill. If He could not give up freewill to us then He would not truly be sovereign. Saying that in His sovereignty He cannot give us control over our will strips Him of His sovereignty by there being something that He cannot do. It is not that He cannot take over our wills it is that He doesn't out of His love for us. If He controlled our every move we would be no more than robots and would not truly love Him with our obedience.
At some point humans have to begin to take responsibility for their own actions just like a parent expects of their children as they grow and mature. Yes there are natural consequences for our actions, that is just the way nature works. But that is not God punishing us or holding our actions against us. That is us doing those things even though we know they will reap those consequences. Instead of holding them against us, God loves us in-spite of our mistakes (just like a parent of a child) and He offers us redemption. If we chose not to take the redemption then we have chosen the consequences of not being redeemed. It isn't God choosing for us. Yes He already knows what we will do, but there is a difference between foreknowledge and predetermination.
So you do not accept the Holy Bible, well then why do atheists try to use it against Christians? The only time I use the Holy Bible in a conversation with an atheist is when the atheist attacks it as some point and they are inviting discussion on the that part of the Bible when they do that. I know you do not accept it so what good would do me to use it to prove itself to you? But, before you are so quick to dismiss it, do some research on the bibliographical tests that have been done on it and see far beyond any other accepted historical document it passes the tests. Bibliographical is not a reference to The Holy Bible, it is another word for book and applies to any book.
Thanks for the challenge. Love to all!
1. I will read the Bible, cover to cover, as soon as Rev. Dobson studies a scientific textbook on the evolution of man or the big bang theory of the creation of the universe
2. Just googled Scientific theory:
The Theory of Evolution is a theory, but guess what? When scientists use the word theory, it has a different meaning to normal everyday use.1 That's right, it all comes down to the multiple meanings of the word theory. If you said to a scientist that you didn't believe in evolution because it was "just a theory", they'd probably be a bit puzzled.
In everyday use, theory means a guess or a hunch, something that maybe needs proof. In science, a theory is not a guess, not a hunch. It's a well-substantiated, well-supported, well-documented explanation for our observations.2 It ties together all the facts about something, providing an explanation that fits all the observations and can be used to make predictions. In science, theory is the ultimate goal, the explanation. It's as close to proven as anything in science can be.
Some people think that in science, you have a theory, and once it's proven, it becomes a law. That's not how it works. In science, we collect facts, or observations, we use laws to describe them, and a theory to explain them. You don't promote a theory to a law by proving it. A theory never becomes a law.
3. I would not have a problem with religion and religious folks if I wasn't forced to pledge allegiance under god, or if they didn't stack the judiciary with all those brilliant legal scholars from Libery University ...
4. Shall I continue??
Well George is gone now and as usual we have the bickering between the Atheists and the Religious and have gone completely off the subject. I'm an Atheist myself and while it is true that I'm tired of having Christainity shoved down my throat, I also realize they have the right to believe what they want to believe as long as, ( and I'm quoting George here ), Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.
As for myself, I don't believe George is meeting his maker. He is not at the gates of a made up hell. Nor is any type of man made God judging him. He is at rest. Period. Nothing more, nothing less.
I think I will enjoy some of Georges HBO specials now and do a little walking down memory lane with the king of comedy and logic. My fellow Realists will keep up the good fight and push the Fundamentalists back into oblivion, where they belong and we can enjoy the onset of a great future with NO MADE UP GODS.
I agree with Tim. Reglious people have the right to believe in a god and I have the right to not believe in a god. It doesn't do any good to argue with fools. In my everday life I don't go around shouting that I'm an athiest, but if the subject comes up then I proudly profess to being an athiest and to raising my children without a god or a devil for that matter. I do hope that in my life-time many more people will come to find the story of the god of Abraham as being nothing more than a fictional story. Through time the majority of people in the world went from having many gods to having one god. The next step is no god or more precisely what I would like to see is NO RELIGION. Since we only have a very small fraction of understanding of the cosmos, we don't have to completly rule out a god: why not turn god into a theory instead of an absoulte? The problem I see with religious people, all relions not just Christianity, is that they have a belief that is not rational. Humans unlike most four legged animals act very irrational yet we have great intelligence and we're capable of doing great things on this planet besides wiping each other out due to a variation and different interpretations of the same story. No god + no religion = Harmony. Sorry, I guess I too got off the subject of George Carlin, but I would like to believe that he would be interested in reading all these posts. (maybe)
You deluded fools, keep wasting your one and only life on kissing a deity's ass.
Wow, Jake Young is so cool. Look at his profile!
Such a cool guy.
I don't understand, why the hell do people do that?
Not funny.
Hey all, I'm not trying to be a devils advocate or a religious protagonist, but the movie 'zeitgeist' has some really interesting perspectives on religion (not spirituality). Whether you're theist, athiest, or agnostic, I think it's interesting to explore all posibilities or studies. (The most important thing to getting your ideas out there is to not force them, but to share with those who are interested - that's all I'm trying to do)
irreverence spawns innovation. and as for judgment, well, if i'm wrong, and there is a god, i think that he will see that whatever conclusions i may have come to, i came to them using the gifts that HE gave me. i was made to be who i am, and have used the faculties at my disposal.
"The most formidable weapon against errors of every kind is Reason. I have never used any other, and I trust I never shall." Thomas Paine
"Question with boldness even the existence of a god; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason, than that of blindfolded fear." Thomas Jefferson
"If someone were to prove to me-right this minute-that God, in all his luminousness, exists, it wouldn't change a single aspect of my behavior." Luis Brunel
To all you people who believe in this "god" thing: The burden of proof is on you, because you are the ones who are making a claim without evidence. It would be as if I told everyone that there is a giant unicorn in my garage, and when they asked for evidence of this preposterous claim, me responding "I can't show you the unicorn - you just have to take it on faith." This is all just one lie perpetuating another. If any of you can give me any scrap of evidence for this "god" claim I will hit my knees right now - please just try to prove it! I'd love to see what kind of twisted, half-wit "logic" you theists and deists come up with now.
In response to Davids' excerpt. As for vague sayings that "leave room for individual interpretation and application" if that applies to prophecy as well, this constitutes one of atheisms' main contentions with religion. take this example from a non-biblical source:
Hercules, King of Rome and Denmark,
Surnamed the triple Giant of France,
Shall make Italy tremble and the wave of St. Mark,
First in renown of all monarchs
this is regarded as prophecy. care to guest what it means? could it be about the Pope? which Pope? Mussolini? Hitler? does it bear the traits of accuracy? if not why not? if left open "for individual interpretation and application" its rendered meaningless, because it would then mean whatever anybody says it means and then what would be the point? if a god wanted us to walk "the straight and narrow" and then He himself broadens the path by making the way "open for individual interpretation and application", what message does He send us? does this seem consistent with a god of order? btw the prophecy was supposedly about Napoleone by Nostradamus.
Also I would like to know in what way is the bible accurate and historical? as you claim; "Forgeries, no other historical book in the world passes the bibliographical tests for authenticity nearly as well and the Holy Bible but no one questions thier accuracy."
Every discussion with a religious person is a waste of time.
If you express doubts about the existence of god, he/she will claim you are in search of god. If you deny the concept of a divinity he/she wil interpret it as your need for god. And the more violent your denial, the more he/she will see in you a great urge to find god.
There is no way out : they bring everything back to god.
The only way to communicate with religious persons is insult.
Like theological discussions, insults are not rational. When you call somebody an "idiot" it is obvious you don't mean the clinical/medical term of idiocy, but that the insult - whatever word used - is an emotional loaden concept. "Fuck you", in no way implies a sexual connotation, etc. etc.
You throw "emotions" at somebody.
Since rationality is totally absent in discussions with religious people (no rationallity being possible with people convinced that they are right because they believe in god and god can't be wrong), let us stick to insults.
Believers with a short fuse will also start using insults and the others, still hoping to lead you on the right path, will use what they think are god's words, which are no arguments, but emotionally loaden words.
So, George Carlin was right : insults and blasphemy are the only way to communicate with believers.
Hate to get technical, but George Carlin cannot rest in peace because there's no afterlife (another fantastic bullshit story)but at least he no longer has to deal with injustice and swarms of believers. I've never heard of Carlin until his death, but after a little poking around, he seemed to have been an interesting and funny person.
Being a devout atheist since conception, and one who always enjoys robust intercourse (dialogue) with our religious friends, I notice the following common denominators seem to always appear from the religious during these discussions:
1. A total dismissal of the need to evidence their belief system.
2. A belief that us non-believers (atheists) hold the burden of proof to establish the non-existence of a Deity.
3. A lack of understanding why the likes of us non-believers get pissed-off and angry over their beliefs and religious doctrines.
Firstly, the reason they dismiss the need for evidence is simple.....they can not provide the evidence, because evidence requires knowledge.
Secondly, proving the non-existence of A Deity is also simple.......there is no evidence to prove the existence and knowledge (science) has provided reasonable, rational people with the means to establish this fact beyond reasonable doubt.
Thirdly, all major religious doctrines are prophesied as the only pillars of ethical and moral enlightenment. Some to the extent that requires the execution of infidels like me, my family and most of the others who visit this beaut website, which is one reason us non-believers get a little pissed off.
Religions have been and remain the major causes of death, conflict, suffering, discrimination and divisiveness around the world. It is now time all religious institutions, doctrines and those who believe in them are held to account.
Religion had a place in society hundreds of years ago when the church needed to keep control and the general populus needed to be kept down. It has no place in todays society. If you can think for yourself then why do you need to believe in something else? People are sheep... I I really hate these people who think they are smug because "they believe in God" and you don't...how Christian is that? they are so deluded they cant see the wood for the trees. The Bible is just a nice set of stories like Robin Hood and King Arthur, with the same historical background....did Arthur exist? probably but it wasn't like in the story...same like the Bible...
You things that which hold onto your pathetic faith are the reason why religious wars are fought. My god's better'n yours. Fuck you, your dog is a coward (if he exists), because I call him out! Come on, strike me dead, don't wait, let the judgement begin. When good young men and women are stuck in an illegal war and dying, this is dog's plan? When the nice old guy down the street is found to have dead bodies of raped children in his basement, that is dog's plan? When the war wagons come to your house and you are praying to your dog for salvation but end up the enemy's torture puppet, this is dog's "divine" plan? The idea of dog overlording us was invented in a time when thunder and lightning were attributed to his anger. Where are the fracking miracles? Oh wait, they weren't miracles but expert cons. It really pisses me off that this is even an issue today with our vastly growing knowledge of physics. All this science around us, and these tarded christians still hold the faith that their dog is going to save them. Our purpose here on this planet is not divine. We have no purpose, we are just here by random happenstance that we have yet to figure out, and we will. And yet, as I state my opinion (shared by multitudes of other intelligent peoples) I am still feeling unsmited. Meanwhile I will wait until your pathetic god shows up at my house looking for a fight. If he does show, I'm kicking his ass for fucking up my life.
God.... gave us free will because he loves us, so that we could make our own decisions about things and learn from right and wrong... life would be pointless if we were all just puppets... and go created suffering to show us to be grateful for what we have an to make the best of what we have... and thats where the people who dont believe took that free will and started doing bad stuff with it. God loves everyone. and the bible says "even if you stop loving me i will never stop loving you" and to all those who believe in evolutianism.... take all the pieces of a scrabble set... in your hands an throw them up in the air.. and when they land... look for anything... your name... the word human, or homosapian, lined up directily side by side.... (didnt happen did it?) now take your own two hands.. and spell your name or human etc... much easier when a greater power makes something rather than random chance... and acid... if you dont believe in god why are you saying he wrecked your life?... if you dont believe it dont come and diss on peoples religions.... if we die and there isnt a god... oh well.... but if there is your the one whos gonna feel dumb. im going to the movies.. i hope everyone the best in life wether you believe in a god or not.
-cody