I wish I'd had this T shirt at TAM7

Well, if I could edit the shirts to be elementary-school acceptable

tshirt # 1
Jesus is a really lousy scientist or
Jesus: great guy
lousy scientist

tshirt #

Dang! or Uh-oh

See, rational thinking starts early...but you have to have age-appropriate language.

My favorite depicts Jesus at a hold-'em table, with the subscript "Ante, Christ."

I think a Homer Simpson "Doh!" is the appropriate term.

Jesus: Science, he's doin it wrong.

(and Welcome Back, Orac )

Noah's real dilemma begins after he runs out of other species to feed to the T Rex. Of course, the real Noah used propofol to sedate all of the animals and Ensure to feed them. The miracle was creating the Big Pharma manufacturer to make these.

Each animal also had a Foley catheter and a feces bag. Then there were problems with the nursing staff (Noah's family), but this was before the Creation of unions.

Then there is the problem of keeping track of 2 of each bacterium. Separate rooms. Gosh, what if they mutate?

Jesus was a character in children's stories.
Like Pecos Bill, or Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox.
Or the Little Engine that Could.

Rogue Medic, thats what happened to the unicorn you know, the T-Rex ate him before the drugs took effect.

Um, I don't get the first one. Is there some Jesus story where he does something remotely related to science?

Rogue Medic, thats what happened to the unicorn you know, the T-Rex ate him before the drugs took effect.

Serves Noah right for using that homeopathic animal tranquilizer on the T-Rex.

Is there some Jesus story where he does something remotely related to science?

Ms. Williams tells me that Jesus turned the water into wine
Youâd think somebody could do something like that
Would be a friend of mine. --Ray Wylie Hubbard "No Lie"

Propoflo is too short-acting, needs constant IV administration and close monitoring of the patients, way too labor-intensive...acepromazine works better to keep 'em bombed

How about instead of having actual animals on the ark, we rewrite the story and have Noah and his artistic daughters-in-law produce clay replicas of the animals (just so god wouldn't forget what he made) and then when it is all over but the eating, god the poofta just poofs them all to life. I mean, he's done it before, certainly he couldn't forget how in such a short time, could he?

Have to agree with #8. The second t-shirt is funny but the first one doesn't make any sense.

No no no. Jesus was a lousy carpenter. Just ask Dave Foley. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGQRBkv4di8

Jesus' manual says the earth is only 6000 years old. Bad science.

"Shitty" is profane?

Nah, THIS is what happened to the unicorns...

http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8687905da0a1166b82131930b0001…

"God hates freaks."

Man, you'd all better hope that Jesus isn't actually the son of God. Or if he is, that he has a really good sense of humor.

Jesus, if he existed at all, was a weird kid with an active imagination. God is a fable.

See, rational thinking starts early...but you have to have age-appropriate language

You think there's a single elementary schooler anywhere who doesn't say "shit" at least every other day?

You think there's a single elementary schooler anywhere who doesn't say "shit" at least every other day?

Plenty of them? I have 4 kids, and none of them have ever said "shit" to my knowledge. Only two are in school this year, but I know a lot of kids who aren't exposed to that type of language.

I, too, try to avoid crude language on my shirts, which is unortunate, as the "SCIENCE It works, bitches" shirt at XKCD is awesome.

I have that T-shirt, which I do wear on occasion. (To date, much appreciative chuckles and no obvious disdain, although I don't wear it around kids.) It was a generous gift from a colleague that served with me on the committee revising our state science standards.

Okay, that Noah one is gold.

Plenty of them? I have 4 kids, and none of them have ever said "shit" to my knowledge.

Trust me, they hear it daily on the playground. I've actually BEEN a kid.

Man, you'd all better hope that Jesus isn't actually the son of God. Or if he is, that he has a really good sense of humor.

1) Man, you'd better hope that you've adequately been following the path of Sanatana, Or that Vishnu has a really good sense of humor. Otherwise, you'll be a goat in your next life. If you're lucky.

Point: So classy to imply threats.

2) I don't have to hope. If a deity existed, it would be as real to the sane people as it is to the delusional.

Adtually, Yeshua bar Yosef would probably, were he alive today, have been very interested in and very pro-science, as would be expected of a rabbi whose main influence was Hillel. It's just those who insist on calling him by the title he never claimed, "The Anointed One" (= "The Chrismed One' = 'the Christ') who are the lousy scientists.

I do like to ask them, though, that if Jesus were all-knowing, why didn't he introduce printing -- not movable type, which might not have been possible, but at least 'carved-block' printing? That way he could have been sure that his words weren't as mangled as they became after 1500 years of manual copying of them. Of course, I also don't understand why he didn't write his own book, or dictate one, but then these supposed 'prophets' never do. Even Mohammed, supposedly being given 'God's final message for humanioty' never bothered to take the simple step of ordering a follower to 'write down what I say' and it took 20 years after his death before somebody realized they should do it -- from memory.

I like,

"Jesus loves you... But everyone else thinks your a C**t!"

It's profane, but funny as hell.

Ever considered the possibility that Noah took young animals on the ark? Like cubs and baby dinos?