Your Friday Dose of Woo: More than just an herbalist

Earlier this week, I deconstructed a truly inane article on Mike Adams NewsTarget website espousing dangerous cancer quackery, with claims that herbal concoctions alone could "naturally heal" cancer. Such a claim wouldn't have attracted bringing the hammer of Respectful Insolence⢠down if there had been some actual evidence presented that this healer could do what she claimed she could do. Unfortunately, as is the case with virtually all such claims, there was none, just a complicated regimen involving four or five different herbal brews involving a total of around 40 different plants and herbs, each of which had a claim that it could do something like "dissolve kidney stones" (although why you would need to treat a cancer patient for kidney stones unless he actually--oh--had kidney stones escapes me). Coupled with this was an almost medieval understanding of cancer in which "poor blood" not in "optimal condition" is the cause of cancer and "purifying" the blood is the cure.

Just for laughs, I Googled the name of this herbalist, Leslee Dru Browning, to see if she had a website. Sure enough, she does. And what a doozy of a website it is, too! In fact, after perusing it for just a little while, I knew I had exactly what I needed.

A new target--I mean "subject"--for this week's Your Friday Dose of Woo.

Yes, it appears that not only is Ms. Browning an herbalist with delusions of being able to cure cancer, but she's an astral traveler as well. Not only is she an astral traveler, but she's an Astral Traveler to the Inner Earth, which sounds so much more impressive than being just an astral traveler. Indeed, this Astral Traveler to the Inner Earth invites you on a "sacred journey":

Come see the places beneath the ground and into the Hollow Earth, through the eyes of veteran Astral Traveler Leslee Dru Browning.  Join her as she focuses and dives into hidden areas deep beneath the Earth's surface where large caverns, wondrous cities, magnetic persons, and incredible inner landscapes exist!

Cool! Let's go! But first, we'd better learn to astral travel. Personally, I always thought that astral projection was something that only Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme, and various other fictional sorcerers did. Boy, was I wrong. Just let Leslee tell you how to learn to astral travel through dreaming:

In the many years I have taught astral traveling, I find the main reason people never experience astral traveling is due to fear. Fear that they will be harmed, fear of not returning, fear of encountering spiritual battles, fear of losing their mind, or fear that someone can take control of their bodies while they are traveling. These are very valid fears. I teach astral travel like I would teach a child to walk, in baby steps. Have patience and learn slowly, have faith, and only try it when you are ready and at peace with the whole idea that you just may be able to fly. I highly recommend when you first begin astral traveling that you have a lifeline, a person you trust who will sit quietly with you, and watch over you in case you begin to panic. This person will be able to assist in guiding you back home if you need help. If you take it slow, you will lose your fear.

From my perspective, "beginning to panic" is probably just a Nightmare. Or perhaps this fear is simply a very real fear that the person you ask to sit quietly with you and watch over you will think that you've totally lost your mind. Of course, another source of fear of astral traveling should be well known to Doctor Strange fans. Recall that, whenver Doctor Strange leaves his body to enter the astral plane, be it to gather information, spy, or to do battle with other astral beings, invariably one of the baddies takes the opportunity to try to kill his sleeping body. And we all know that, if the body is killed while the soul is wandering around in the astral plane, that the soul will be forever trapped in the astral plane to wander forever, powerless, eventually dying itself. Also, if I recall my classic comics correctly, if the soul is too long outside the body, the body will also die and the soul will be trapped, which is what Strange's arch enemy Baron Mordo is trying to accomplish here:

Wow. That is pretty scary stuff!

Perhaps the most useful thing that Ms. Browning teaches me, however, is that everyone astral travels in dreams "Déjà Vu" (which she inexplicably spells as "De-Ja Vu") is nothing more than the memory of a dream of the future that we've had. How profound. Of course, as with seemingly all woo, it comes down to vibration, as a description of how to astral travel while awake states. After first describing a method of becoming completely relaxed, Browning informs us:

Now that your are completely relaxed and unaware of your body you will enter a state of vibration. This is the most important part of astral traveling because everything is a vibration. You may feel mild tingling, or electrical sensations, or a shooting of energy through your crown chakra. This is where you will begin to leave your body.

Begin with just allowing a little separation of yourself emerge from your crown chakra. You need to be able to control your vibrational state. Practice by allowing some energy to flow out of your crown, then bring it back in and push it down to your toes. Practice doing this -energy in, energy out, until you feel you can master and control your spiritual body. Once you have learned to control this vibrational state, you will be ready to leave your body entirely and astral travel with complete confidence that you are in control, and can return back into your body whenever you so desire.

Or maybe you just become so "relaxed" that you fall asleep and start dreaming. Sorry, that's just the old nasty skeptic in me speaking. Pardon my lack of credulity. What is it with woos and "vibration" or "frequencies," though? To them, everything is vibration. It's tempting to point out to Browning that there are devices to "control your vibrational state," in quite a stimulating manner without an appeal to chakras and mega-woo.

So what can you do with this newfound skill of astral traveling. Well, if you're Leslee Dru Browning, you can do all sorts of things. First off, did you know that THE VATICAN does not want you to know that PARADISE exists beneath your FEET? That's what Browning tells us, anyway, using exactly that capitalization. To prove it, she recounts a tale of traveling below Vatican City, where, not surprisingly if your woo is strong, she met the spirit of St. Peter:

I find his spirit warm and good. He is honest and tells me he was once a rebel, that his faith had been tested many times, and many times he failed those tests. But in the end, his love was for God. He tells me those in the Church holding high power are not upholding the simple teachings of Jesus, but instead, are playing a dangerous game with the world. His spirit is angry that the Church holds the common people in such disregard. St. Peter's spirit touches whoever he is able, he wants the blood of the Church washed forever from his hands, and I can see his spirit move among those who visit here.
 
Listening to St. Peter while standing on Vatican soil I can smell old blood, power, murder, theft, secrets held in the shade and hidden in the shadows of the Church's walls, tunnels, secret rooms and inner chambers. St. Peter will now guide me into the Sistine Chapel.

Through her journeys, she learns the "truth" about the Catholic Church straight from the horse's mouth itself. Yes, the Sistine Chapel itself speaks to her and tells it to her:

I am being shown the seat of Rome was once the main hub for implementing the NWO [Orac's note: Yes, that's "New World Order," all you conspiracy buffs out there!], but now the bulk of the manipulation and power of the NWO has been transferred to England. The Royal Family, and most of England, also worships in the Church. Yes, strong ties between the two. Great Britain, which is the agent for the Pope, is in charge of what I will call the US "cultivation". I am hearing that the so called founding fathers and King George were working together to bring down America, to install a Central Government over America, and to bind them to a debt that could not be repaid. With the year of 1773 and 1776 being shown me, I see that the Church has had its mark on America since the beginning of its birth. I do not see Queen Elizabeth II  as a big player in this, yes, she has blood on her hands, but this hierarchy is male dominated and she is used willingly as a pawn.

Little did I know during my recent trip to London that I had entered the belly of the Beast itself. But, wait, there's more:

The Church, now being corrupt, has infiltrated most of the world. But, it has not been able to infiltrate Eastern Religions and Philosophies. I am told that this was the real reason behind the Viet Nam War, the reason for the Kennedy assassination. The NWO needed that war to begin their move into Asian Countries, and they would do it by slowly implementing false Christian Doctrine. In the name of world peace they wanted to bring down their opposition, in which they have not yet been completely successful.

Freemasons, which actually make up the Illuminati, along with those of the Vatican City and the Reptilians, are all key players in the hierarchy of the Church. The face of Bush shown in the fog indeed verifies the sense that I have had since 1994 that he would be the Millenium President of the US. He was hand picked for the position, as most presidents were. I am also told the next Pope will be the Black Pope, this Pope will carry pure evil in his heart.

Browning wrote this in July 2001, when Pope John Paul II was still in charge. That would mean...that would mean...oh, no! Pope Benedict XVI must be the Black Pope! We're doomed! And we are! Just listen to Browning for more:

The Church's hand has been deep in developing communism, and many treasures were taken from the Jewish People during the reign of Hitler. I also am being shown that Cuba is a secret and will never be touched. I see Castro, Bush, and Hussein - all friends, playing a pretend game of battle in front of the media for the entire world to view, and be brainwashed into thinking these heads of countries do not work together, when indeed their end goal is the same...

I will say as a final culmination to this part of my astral report that I both see and sense there were some here who were here in the past, and some who are still here, who are not of this earth. Reptilian beings, initially ordered Rome to act as a portal in and out of earth for those from other parts of the galaxy. Rome, Italy was not chosen for the land, but for the great bodies of water that surround it. For having a Sea on both sides of it, for the rivers, and tributaries, which allowed for the constructions of underground waterway tunnels that moved beneath Rome.

Woo-hoo! We're heading into David Icke territory! Only the finest and most off-the-wall conspiracy woo starts invoking "reptilian" beings as part of the grand conspiracy to control humanity through the New World Order. But it gets better than that. Apparently, Browning also believes in the Hollow Earth. Unfortunately, the link on her Astral Project page to her reported journey to the Hollow Earth is broken, as are her tales of astral travel to Skiros in the Aegean Sea and the hollow Moon. (Maybe it's a test and you have to be able to astral travel to follow those links.)

But there's one final test of Browning's woo-foo? Is it stronger than the woo-foo of other woo-meisters? What better way to tell than to see her predictions made in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, specifically on or about September 18, 2001. But first, post hoc, she has to try to demonstrate that she actually had had a vision predicting 9/11:

Roughly a week or so before the WTC atrocity I was told that the "green pools" held the key.--they were the connection. Also, Canteen. This was all written in a "A Visitor Arrives" which many had access to before September 11, 2001.

I wondered about canteen, and knew in France it meant a wine cellar, so I was thinking a city in France, but have now decided Sauniere in his visit with me meant exactly what he said--canteens are stores on military bases, are clubs for soldiers, and are temporary emergency eating places--like in times of war or disasters.

At first I thought the "green pools" were actual water pools that were vortex's to other worlds, openings if you will. And they are, but who wants to control these entrances into other dimensions? So, I looked for a second meaning for "Green Pools"---

Green is the color of money in the US, and of course, the WTC housed many financial brokers.

Pools: Pool for gambling. Also, a mutual fund established by a group of stockholders for specializing in or manipulating prices of securities.

And, an agreement between competing businesses concerns to establish controls over producing market and price for common profit.

All fits together nicely>> Pool >>Funds>>Stakes >>Target

The Green Pools were the WTC--the symbol of world finance, which is controlled and manipulated by a handful of powerful elite.

Wow! I'm, like, totally convinced. How about you. And now for two of Browning's predictions, one made on September 18, 2001, the other made on September 19, 2001:

I believe these terrorists will go after the computer systems next. They will begin with releasing various virus's to infect and crash  home systems and business systems. people need to be very careful about opening emails. This would be very easy to do now with everyone opening lots of mail from unknown people to read about this current situation we are in. I warn all people to be ultra cautious and not to open any mail from anyone whom they may be unfamiliar with, I would recommend AVG Anti-Virus System which can be downloaded free.

It updates for every new virus.

For those of you citizens who are spared the virus's, watch what you write, as all email is now being monitored in the US. I have an alarm system on my computer and yesterday alone I have over 350 "hit' by intruders wanting in my system, so, with this information, I can say, it has begun.

Hmmm. That one doesn't sound as though it happened. Or maybe 2001 was the year when Browning discovered spam. Either way, here's a hint for you, Leslee. In a real cyber attack, antivirus software is unlikely to help you much. Maybe you should just wrap your computer in tinfoil to protect it against computer control rays. It'll do just as much good.

Now let's look at Leslee's second prediction:

The next attack from terrorists may come between the 18th and 25th of this month. The strongest of those dates are the 23rd, the 22nd. The attack may be subtle, or overt. I would suggest drinking bottled water since my visions keep showing me water. A subtle attack would be where the water system is tampered with, or biological agents are released in the air. These are extremely subtle as they can take time to cause the effect to the human body, manifesting early is extremely sensitive people, yet may take months or even years like the Gulf War Syndrome.

Now that's more like it! A totally unfalsifiable prediction! She could easily point to the illnesses that WTC rescue workers have manifested in recent times as fulfillment of her prediction. Or any number of other problems. Or, in the worst case scenario (for her), she could still claim that the "subtle attack" that happened on September 23, 2001 just hasn't manifested its results yet. That's much better. Never make a prediction that can be proven to be unequivocally erroneous, I say! Of course, if an attack is so subtle that no one notices, it sure doesn't do much for the terrorists who execute it, does it?

As is my wont, it appears that I've let this week's edition of YFDoW become rather long (more like long-winded). Consequently, I think I'll take what I've learned from Leslee Dru Browning, namely that you can cure cancer with herbs, that astral traveling is fun, and that the Catholic Church is controlled by David Icke-inspired Reptilians helping to bring about some unspecified New World Order for purposes that mere humans cannot fathom, and build on it by heading on over to the astral hollow.

If I don't make it back, you'll know that either Baron Mordo, the Dread Dormammu, or maybe Nightmare got me.