The Sam's Club Model of Environmentalism (Buy More!)

This post was written by Wyatt Galusky.*

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If you love the earth too, buy, buy, buy.

So, I suppose it had to happen at some point - the Sam's Club model of environmentalism. Buy More (consumables imprinted with the imprimatur of the Earth). Save More (of aforementioned planet). Alex Williams reports in Sunday's New York Times on the burgeoning commoditization of the environmental movement, and the various views people have taken on this process. This on the heels of the two biggest big box stores - Wal-mart and Home Depot - taking the "green" plunge.

As a committed environmentalist, I have to admit that this is terrible news. Terrible. I'm trying to do all I can to save the planet already, but frankly, I'm struggling to keep up. Just bought my second Prius, which I drive on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I save the Escape for the weekends, which, you know, just makes sense. But it looks like I'd better get my order in for that new Lexus. Of course, I made sure the new ski chalet was LEED certified. And I'm working to retrofit the summer cottage with solar panels. All my residences are stocked with Seventh Generation. And every single room - 24 in total - is lit with compact fluorescent bulbs. Even the servants' quarters. And I'm pretty sure they use the bus to get around. But, gosh darn it, it seems that every day there is more and more I need to buy to do my part.

For example, I just got tickets to THE Earth-saving event of the year. How could I not? It worked so well for the small farmer. In fact, it seems so important, I plan to be at two shows - Sydney and New York. Taking the whole family (and the kids' nanny). That's $1290 just for concert tickets for the five of us. Plus the overtime for the plane crew. And the carbon offsets. It's getting to be where I can't keep up.

Every time a new product comes on board, I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt until I get it. Otherwise, how can I look myself in the mirror? But with all of these stores now going green, it's becoming nearly impossible for me.

But, then, I remembered a phrase I heard somewhere before.

Can't someone else do it?

So, I'm in negotiation to get my own green consultant, along with personal shopper and acquisitions agent. This is going to be sweet. Just sit back and let my money do the work. I'll be on easy rubberized asphalt concrete.

Turns out Kermit was wrong.

*Wyatt Galusky is an Assistant Professor of Humanities at SUNY-Morrisville. He is an STS scholar, an environmental ethicist, a playwright, and a raiser (or is it rearer?) of chickens. His earlier research focused on on-line environmental activism (check out scorecard.org, for example) and whose current research focuses on the industrialization of animals (like those chickens).

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Thank you, that was hilarious.

That's awesome (I would have published that at the SCQ).

Hi Wyatt and welcome aboard. Nice to have some extra riders on the ferris wheel.