Bono speaks to a geneticist

(This is an oldish attempt at the "Speaks to a Geneticist" series, but was never sure if it was on or not)

BONO: Why am I so weary?

GENETICIST: From a genetic point of view, I would say that your weariness is a reflection of your metabolism. That is, your ability to pull energy from the food you eat, and the ability to utilize that energy effectively. Both of which should not be a problem for a person of your age and affluent stature. My guess is that you are just overdoing things. Here, Mr Bono, would turning up the lights help wake you up?

BONO: You know, I am probably overdoing things. Sure, turn the lights on, although first let me put my sunglasses on. My eyes are quite sensitive to the glare. And just call me "Bono." Not "Mr. Bono," or else I'll have to get Larry to pound you.

GENETICIST: Yes, and maybe your eyes are sensitive due to fatigue, although to be sure I would go get them checked out. This is just in case it is something serious like glaucoma or age-related macular degeneration, which would need immediate medical attention. It might even be a genetic disease, in which case I can be of more help. Myself, I suffer slightly from Alport syndrome, a genetic disease that affects my ability to hear properly. In fact, it is difficult for me to even hear you now. Mr. Bono, can I trouble you to use this microphone?

BONO: Of course. And seriously, stop with the "Mr. Bono." Adam knows kung fu and will use it if provoked. Anyway, you're a geneticist - what can you tell me about HIV? I know quite a bit, but I'm interested in knowing more. There's a lot of it in Africa for instance.

GENETICIST: There is indeed. Well, HIV is short for the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, and is a terrible bane to all of humanity, but particularly to those on the African continent. It is so effective because it attacks your immune system - the one thing that would protect you from it in the first place. Also, it is a virus that is very good at mutating itself so as to avoid treatment.

BONO: Interesting... But I'm not completely clear on what you mean by mutating. Could you explain further?

GENETICIST: I'd be delighted to! You see - the virus that is HIV is notoriously sloppy in replicating itself. Therefore, each new virus produced is almost always ridden with mistakes, so that it gets, in effect, a little different with each new generation. New generations which, in effect, react differently to the drugs you use to treat the disease. This wrecks havoc on the efficiency of any mode of treatment, since it simply cannot adapt to the changes. Anyway, these changes occur at the genetic level.
At this point, I must demonstrate with this guitar...

BONO: You brought a guitar?

GENETICIST: Yes, of course! I assure you that this is a standard genetic teaching aid. You see - a virus's code contains 4 letters. In HIV's case, these letters are A, U, C and G. Do you not see that these can represent musical notation? Where A, C and G are standard chords and, of course, the letter 'U' clearly mimics the shape of your hand when one makes an F chord with an open E string on the guitar!

BONO: Umm, I'm not so sure. I should check with the Edge - he would probably know more about this...

GENETICIST: Of course he would, but first indulge me by taking this guitar and strumming this genetic sequence. C C U(F) C.

BONO: (strums guitar) It sounds familiar.

GENETICIST: And again, C C U(F) C. Now, please, with a mutation, C G U(F) C. Excellent!

BONO: (still strumming) You know, I'm still not really getting it. What does this have to do with genetics?

GENETICIST: Please bear with me. And yes, I do see that you are confused. Perhaps , you might even say you still haven't found what you're looking for?

BONO: Er... I suppose. Hey, I just noticed something - are we on a stage?

GENETICIST: Yes, it was the only room I could get. Please do not forget my hearing impairment and speak into the microphone. And let us try strumming those chords, er genetic sequences, again, Also, why not repeat after me, I still haven't found what I'm looking for. Maybe sing it even? Yes? No? Not this time? Ah well, that is fine. I understand completely. I was only trying to do my best. I realize that my skills as a teacher are somewhat lacking, but that, I suppose, is to be expected as I am, sadly, only a geneticist.