Bringing you up to speed in the world of genetics

I've been so busy writing about children's books, putting up silly lists, and presenting puzzles that I feel the need to write about one of the things I'm most comfortable with - that is, genetics:

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The price of cloning your beloved pet cat recently dropped from $50,000 to $32,000. If you're still undecided, it might help to know that this includes a free video.

Rodney Dangerfield sadly passed away before he was able to fully utilize the supposed human cloning techniques offered by the Raelians, a French Canadian love cult from outer space (or something like that).

A biotech company is currently making genetically modified pigs, capable of producing therapeutics in their semen. And if you thought you really didn't need to know that, consider the fact that the average pig can produce as much as half a liter of semen each day, 365 days in a year.

Radiohead, a well-known rock band, once released a number one Billboard CD whose title track was dedicated to the first human clone (wherever he/she may be). This CD and track was called Kid A, but secretly we hope that the clone was instead named "Adam", "Eve", or possibly "The Man they call Raveen."

Yeast is now one of the most powerful experimental biological systems. It is also necessary for the production of wine and beer. I wonder if there is a connection.

One of the things that the Human Genome Project revealed was that humans are on average only 0.1% genetically different from each other (regardless of race, etc). In other words, you have more in common with Michael Jackson, George Bush, and Paris Hilton then you'd probably care for.

The Y chromosome is apparently rich in genetic content, but does not (as previously suggested) contain a gene for air guitar or air drumming.

Long-lived mutants of various organisms (including mice) currently exist, some with life spans that are two to three times longer than normal. Many of these, happen to live in a state of slow motion whereby feeding and even defecation rates are slower. Taken literally, you can say that those who take longer to shit arguably should live longer lives.

DNA is an abbreviation for deoxyribonucleic acid, the molecule of life. DAN is the name of that angry dude who lives down the street.

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O.K. that's better...

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