Calling All Enthusiasts of Sesquipedalian Neologisms!

My, but the folks who think up names for pharmaceuticals have been busy lately! Here is just one example of a new compound from the promising world of translational research and now approved for usage. Just please don't ask me to pronounce it - I said it fast three times last night and conjured up the ghost of Tatanka Iyotanka.

"FDA Approves Vectibix (panitumumab) for Advanced Colorectal Cancer"

Those of us who follow the latest developments in colon cancer research (and don't you dare call us a bunch of nerds) are thrilled with the approval of panitumumab. Is it possible to translate this enthusiasm into the King's English? Hey, it's worth a try.

We, the loyal despisers of metastatic colon cancer wish to announce the following:

1. Approximately 70% of all colon cancers express EGFR (epidermal growth factor receptor), which directs the cell via intermediaries, if you will, to proliferate, avoid committing suicide (apoptosis), recruit a nice network of nutrient-supplying blood vessels (angiogenesis) and spread to distant organs (metastasize).

2. Monoclonal antibodies that bind to the EGFR prevent it from sending these vital messages to the nucleus of the cell, thus suppressing cell division, activating the suicide software program and limiting production of angiogenesis growth factors.

3. Patients with advanced colon cancer who took panitumumab after failing three different chemotherapy medicines had a longer time to progression of disease compared with receiving only best supportive care (BSC). For example, 80% of patients receiving BSC showed progression of disease (or died) 8 weeks after starting this study, whereas it took 24 weeks for 80% of patients receiving panitumumab to experience such an event. As modest as this claim may seem, it does represent progress. Here's another way to spin these results into golden data:

The FDA granted Vectibix accelerated approval after a clinical trial of 463 patients demonstrated that the drug added about a month to average survival or disease progression time compared with patients who received standard care.

4. Panitumumab is a fully human monoclonal antibody, compared with rival cetuximab which is a chimeric (human-murine) antibody. This greatly reduces the risk of patients experiencing an infusion reaction.

5. Targeted therapy agents are not only intriguing - they are expensive; to wit:

The drug's maker, Amgen, said it would price the drug at $4,000 per biweekly infusion, which is about 20% less than the price of Erbitux (cetuximab), a similar drug made by Imclone. Nonetheless, a year's treatment would cost about $100,000, although few patients survive that long.

Carumba! Well, I guess that is the price of progress in a capitalist society, a society which I might add has produced the greatest advances in health care since King Edward VII's nephew abdicated the Teutonic throne.