Nicholas Wade (a friend of mine's Dad actually) was on the Colbert Report talking about cloning wooly mammoths. Colbert asks the obvious question: why don't we just staple shag carpeting to an elephant?
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Shag carpet has the wrong texture and length and doesn't have the three layer architecture that mammoth hair had. Due to the current downturn in construction, the carpet industry doesn't have nearly the resources to engage in the massive research effort that would be necessary to develop mammoth carpet. It would be cheaper and faster just to stick with cloning.
That, and the last person who tried to staple shag carpeting to an elephant was stomped so flat that they recovered the body by mopping it up with said shag carpeting.
Better to go with the cloning. Easier on the help.
"...three layer architecture"? Where did you get that baloney? I've spent the night embracing shag carpet through many a lonley night and nary a one had three layers. Moreover when I awoke from such a night my pajamas were generally moist in the crotch. Surely that is a finding worthy of more investigation. Sam