Scaring ostriches into impotence -- it must be stopped!

i-f2d89d6a74502cc6519ce513cef90a5e-ostrich_pic.jpgNot the kind of story you read everyday:

Three teenagers may be on the hook for a hefty fine if a court decides that their festive firecrackers outside an eastern German farm scared the libido right out of an ostrich named Gustav.

Rico Gabel, a farmer in Lohsa, northeast of Dresden, is claiming $6,450 in damages for the alleged antics of the three youths, ages 17-18, between Dec. 27 and 29, 2005.

According to his lawsuit, the farmer claims that fireworks set off by the boys made the previously lustful Gustav both apathetic and depressed, and thus unable to perform for a half-a-year with his two female breeding partners.

Before Gustav regained his sex drive in the second half of the year, the farmer estimates he lost out on 14 ostrich offspring -- worth $460 apiece.

"Damn kids! Get off my farm! You're scaring my ostriches and giving them performance anxiety."

What?! I'm sorry, but can anyone think of a solid way to prove that scaring this bird stole his libido. There is no way the judge is taking this seriously.

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