I hate those sanctimonious billboards

So I'm glad someone took the time to reply to them.

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You don't see many of those here in RI. For some reason Catholics don't feel the need to wear their religion on their sleeve here except when it comes to testifying against marriage equality.

But that's not my point. I was recently in NC and noticed those damned billboards but most just said "I'm in the Book - God". Yes, the book that is supposedly divinely inspired. So tell me God, why is there so much contradiction in the book? Perhaps because the book you speak of was written by man, or more precisely man with an agenda.

Whatsa matter with you Americans? Don't you have good ol' fashioned teenage incorrigibles?

If those billboards ever made it to Edmonton, they'd be spraypainted with "Donna + Gary: Grad '07" before you could blink.

I think a great rebuttal to these would be to post a similar billboard next to the first, simply saying:

The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
-William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

and watch the fundie brains pop.

Here is a billboard I would put up in praise of my four-
legged friends and to excoriate the two legged morons;

"dog"? You've got to be kdding!

Signed. "Woof"

We have one of these near Little Rock that says "I love you...I love you...I love you... --God".

I've been REALLY tempted to rent the next billboard down and do a classy black-on-white ad. Something about stalking. Or spousal abuse.

Some of those are so inane they don't even rise to the level of Hallmark card sentimentality. "You think it's hot here? --God." What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Someone paid money to display that message? It's like god is a passing acquaintance you're forced to make awkward conversation with.

"Nice weather we've been having, huh? --God."

"Did you catch Leno last night? --God."

"How 'bout them Giants? --God."

By H. Humbert (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

What the hell is that even supposed to mean?

You said it: hell.

It's supposed to make you feel guilty.

By David Marjanović, OM (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

...and to literally scare you out of your wits.

By David Marjanović, OM (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

I saw a good one in rural Alabama this weekend.

"Go to church or the devil will get you."

It even included a clip-art devil too!

We have one of these near Little Rock that says "I love you...I love you...I love you... --God".

I've been REALLY tempted to rent the next billboard down and do a classy black-on-white ad. Something about stalking. Or spousal abuse.

... alternatives:

'That's really sweet, sugar. But I'm seeing someone corporeal.'

'That's nice. And how did you get this number, again?'

'Yeah, yeah, that's very flattering. But I know your type. You say that to everyone.'

#7: Man, I wish I had enough money to rent a billboard..I'd do all three of those, down the same stretch of highway, about three miles apart from each other.

I guess this is one of the advantages of not having a car anymore. I simply don't see lots of billboards. I don't think I've seen any of these, but I'm always blown away by how MCCL seems to own the highways when I'm back in Minnesota.

#8: How about...

"I bet you say that to all the boys"?

Um, isn't presuming to speak for God a form of blasphemy?

#14: I was of course responding to #11. Sorry.

I think there should be one where god faces up to the fact that he hasn't done any of the leg work.
"I can create universes, but I needed Billy-Bob to rent this billboard and think of something to say"

And I gotta say, the tagline to the video was perfect
"bring on the illiterate hatemail"

By Michael X (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

"Get me the hell out of your stupid medamned pledge of allegiance!"

God, why are you using billboards to communicate?

# 15 Thanks for that link. Things like that make me remember why I like living in this state.

By sublunary (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

#10: Really? Because I heard from a very reputable source that the devil went down, in fact, to Georgia.
#19: medamned FTW!
Anyway, as sanctimonious and groan-worthy as those billboards are, the responses are pretty weak. The correct response to all of those is, "why don't you stop being a self-righteous prick and mind your own damn business thankyouverymuch."
Who produces these billboards, anyway? I've always wondered. Does anyone know?

By Scooty Puff, Jr. (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

We have one of these near Little Rock that says "I love you...I love you...I love you... --God".

How about one next to it that says "Oh, God! Yes! Say it again!"

MAJeff wrote:

I guess this is one of the advantages of not having a car anymore. I simply don't see lots of billboards. I don't think I've seen any of these . . .

That may be less a function of not having a car than of living in MA. I do a fair amount of driving, but if there are any of these in Massachusetts (the eastern half, at any rate), I've somehow managed to miss them.

By noncarborundum (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

"I love you...I love you...I love you..."

"We need to talk." GOD.

Typical ball busting deity.

By RamblinDude (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

re: the video: Rat own!

I saw a good one in rural Alabama this weekend.
"Go to church or the devil will get you."
It even included a clip-art devil too!

Wow, no shit??!! Somewhere I have a black & white photo of that sign (or, more likely, its older brother, but it was, in fact, in Alabama) that I shot back in--yikes--1979 or so!

By Sven DiMilo (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

#10: Really? Because I heard from a very reputable source that the devil went down, in fact, to Georgia.

I don't think Charlie Daniels is all that reputable anymore.

We've just moved to a new town which, overtly doesn't seem particularly religious, but has a suspicious amount of churches (however driving around last Sunday I didn't see people hanging around any of them). A few of them do the billboard thing outside the church which I've never seen before in Australia. The one up the road reads, I shit you not, "Don't go through life with something up your nose.". I have no idea what this is supposed to mean other than to demonstrate that christshuns really are morons.

By Bride of Shrek (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

Another billboard:

I don't want to be dead; there's no future in it.

gods

"Sorry about Katrina. I was aiming at Falwell." --God

There are three of those billboards within five minutes of each other where I live. They're on every major street. One time, there was a blank billboard that said "I guess you could say I'm in outside sales." It was an ad suggesting that you buy billboard space, but the colors and text made it look like it was one of the God billboards.

I spent a little while puzzling out what kind of Christian message it was meant to impart until the next time I drove past it and realized it wasn't a "God quote" at all.

By October Mermaid (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

I was just going to say "Billboards?" when I read the post by Kevin C.: so Alaska isn't all bad then? I hate billboards of any kind. True, these are awful, but the only ones up here in BC are on Native land where regular laws prohibiting billboards don't apply. They're usually sad ads for casinos, ambulance chaser lawyers, and McDonalds next exit left, which sort of fits with the general lameness of the godbotherer billboards. Sad and pathetic really. If god wants to speak to us, why not just appear on a grilled cheese/rotten potato/dog's butt as normal.

How about a billboard on highway 180 just north of Flagstaff AZ saying:

Don't believe that book they're selling in the gift shop. I peed the Grand Canyon just to see if I could.

Uh, this may sound weird coming from an outsider, but are those billboards actually real? Seriously? And I thought the roadside Virgin Mary statues were weird in Ireland.

By Silmarillion (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

Over the last seven years in making trips between the Twin Cities and hometown in IL, there's an anti-choice billboard that has been a permanent fixture somewhere southeast of Eau Claire along I-94 on the northbound side. It always bugged the heck out of me that it sat there (maybe someone here knows if it's still there?) for so long apparently with plenty of money to keep it occupying that spot.

By BlueIndependent (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

Silmarillion, yes the are real. First one I ever saw was:

"Don't make me come down there!" -God

It was only up about a month before it was replaced with:

"God is dead" -Nietzsche
"Nietzsche is dead." -God

By Abby Normal (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

Driving through the U.S. last week, I was fantasizing about modifying those billboards with a paint roller on a long handle.

of course, even if you were a millionaire, you would never be allowed to put up a response billboard. The company would reject anything you tried to put up.

I love you...I love you...I love you...
God

1 mile beyond

yes... Yessss... YESSSSSSS!
Mary

I think a fun response to

My way is the highway."
-God

would be either

" 'My way is the highway.'
-God"
-AC/DC

or

Wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat.

Of course, all true Christians know that the latter is just talking about all of the false Christians, and true Christians don't listen to AC/DC.

Some of those are so inane they don't even rise to the level of Hallmark card sentimentality. "You think it's hot here? --God." What the hell is that even supposed to mean? Someone paid money to display that message? It's like god is a passing acquaintance you're forced to make awkward conversation with.

"Nice weather we've been having, huh? --God."

"Did you catch Leno last night? --God."

"How 'bout them Giants? --God."

and...

"Fuck the Patriots, I didn't want them to go 19-0. --God."

Those billboards remind me of Megatron asserting in the Transformers movie that "humanity doesn't deserve to live."

Just for the sheer dumb arrogance of "if I believe it, that makes it true." Which is both hilarious and deeply frustrating, because the person responsible is not listening, and therefore I cannot communicate to them how much they're living proof of "those who know the least, know it the loudest."

I still think that the "What part of 'thou shalt not kill' didn't you understand?" one should get a point or two for unintentional irony...
I actually thought it *was* and athiest's billboard...

One guaranteed to make a few fundie heads explode:

Aren't you a bit old to believe in fairy tales?
- God

By Sir Craig (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

Following on this thread here's a heartwarming story of what happens when someone else does what the poor persecuted christianists are doing. Apologetic billboard replaces atheistic sign. Yup, billboard company replaces "Imagine No Religion" with ""In God We Trust: Kegerreis Outdoor Advertising LLC. The previous sign posted at this location does not reflect the values or morals of our company. Thank you." (when its lease expired). Kinda funny that I've actually heard crappy xtian bands playing that song but with the lyric changed to "Imagine One Religion"

To #56 Alan WCan

That article (digg it) prompted me to write to the outdoor advertising company (info@kegerreis.com), and you can too!

I sent this:
I was surpised to see the words at the bottom of your billboard saying that the previous sign does not reflect your "values or morals." Before chosing to say this, did you investigate what the values and morals of the Freedom From Religion Foundation are? As an advocate for protecting our Constutional right to keep religion separate from government, the FFRF is proud to represent the many Americans who have ushered in social and moral progress in America.

In modern times the first to speak out for prison reform, for humane treatment of the mentally ill, for abolition of capital punishment, for women's right to vote, for death with dignity for the terminally ill, and for the right to choose contraception, sterilization and abortion have been freethinkers, just as they were the first to call for an end to slavery.*

I am susprised that a company would willingly admit to not sharing such ideals. But I do thank you for making your position known to the public, so that we can make more informed dicisions about which companies to do business with.

* This second paragraph comes from the FFRF website.

Sonofabitch,PZ.

You needed to put NSFW on that link.

LOL @ #50 above. Hell, lots of them. But the Ike Turner joke was just too good.

Now someone needs to take on those "are they making a monkey out of you?" anti-evolution billboards.

You forgot:

"Jesus loves you, He's just not ready to committ."

There is one on Highway 52 near downtown St. Paul that says:

"One God

One Human Race

One Way to Heaven

Read the Bible"

My jaw hit the floor the first time I saw it. I sneer every time I drive by.

RE: #65

I know this is a Godwin's Law violation, but am I the only one who thought:
"Ein Reich, Ein Volk, Ein Fuhrer"

(of course now I have the end credits theme from the original Highlander movie stuck in my head for some reason)

By phantomreader42 (not verified) on 08 Feb 2008 #permalink

isnt it blasphemy to make a message and claim that its from god? shouldnt christians be pissed about this?
i mean if taking gods name in vain is a sin, what of the vanity of pretending to speak for him, hell even amongst humans forging someones signature is a crime.

What the hell is that even supposed to mean?

You said it: hell.

It's supposed to make you feel guilty.

By David Marjanović, OM (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

...and to literally scare you out of your wits.

By David Marjanović, OM (not verified) on 06 Feb 2008 #permalink

I hate...I hate...I hate...- All of us on this website that are offended by the billboards.

I'm at a loss for words that anybody could be so up in arms over a billboard with a message so simply stated and beautiful. There are people experiencing great sorrow and hopelessness who have found comfort and strength from the message on that billboard.

By Sylvia Towle (not verified) on 30 Jul 2008 #permalink