Born of a virgin

Add hammerhead sharks to your list of animals that don't need males. A captive bonnethead female in Nebraska gave birth in 2001, and genetic testing has revealed that it was produced by parthenogenesis. In a way, this isn't a surprise: I could have told her that Nebraska is no place for a self-respecting shark to look for a boyfriend.

Parthenogenesis had been suspected, because the shark had been isolated from males for at least 3 years, and because she lacked the obvious bite marks that result from shark sex (which is another reason a lady shark might not want to have anything to do with sexual reproduction), and now the tests have shown it for sure. Nifty!

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But... surely this is proof that Jesus was born the same way!

Or at least that Jesus was a hammerhead shark. That would be much cooler than the crappy version in the bible.

...because she lacked the obvious bite marks that result from shark sex (which is another reason a lady shark might not want to have anything to do with sexual reproduction)...

What's wrong with leaving a few bite marks?

I for one welcome our new cartilagenous savior.

By commissarjs (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink

Crap. Now it's unsafe to go into corn fields.

By Retired Catholic (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink

#3: Can we make 'Nemesis' the official theme song for Pharyngula? I mean, "But you know evil is an exact science" sounds to me like something PZ would (sarcastically) say...

From "Fins"
Can't you feel 'em circlin', honey
Can't you feel 'em schoolin' around
Fins to the left, fins to the right
You're the only bait in town
Oh oh
Oh oh
You got fins to the left, fins to the right
You're the only bait in town

And can I please have another Margarita? Dos, Por favor?

By J-Parrot Dog (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink

RickD:

No! The moment I read your contribution I recognized that I was already hearing that song in my head!

That is funny.

Thanks.

Don't worry guys, we won't be getting rid of you all yet. Some of us still need someone around to open the pickle jars...

"What's wrong with leaving a few bite marks?"

Likewise, what's wrong with a swift kick to the nut sack?

Oh wait, you mean I should have *asked* if you wanted to be kicked first? Silly me.

>:)

Or at least that Jesus was a hammerhead shark.

Or female. Or both.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink

This puts all those satirical jeezuz fish with fins and teeth in a whole new light.
Bow doen before her toothy holyness.

Reply to #2
In shark sex, presumedly since sharks first appeared, copulation usually involves the male biting the pectoral fin of the female in order to get into the appropriate position. From what can be observed, it's always painful and involves lots of struggling.

"I could have told her that Nebraska is no place for a self-respecting shark to look for a boyfriend."

I literally laughed out loud. She would do much better in the singles bars on the Upper West Side in NYC. OTOH the competition is pretty fierce there, cold-blooded predator wise. (And yes, I know that some sharks are endotherms.)

The new pup was soon killed by a stingray before keepers could remove it from its tank.

Those Satin's spawn devil stingrays killed our cartilaginous savior! The end is nigh!

But... surely this is proof that Jesus was born the same way!

Or at least that Jesus was a hammerhead shark.

Hey! Jesus could have been a Komodo dragon!

Those Satin's spawn devil stingrays killed our cartilaginous savior! The end is nigh!

I figured out that they were evil back when they slew the Prophet Irwin, causing much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

"What's wrong with leaving a few bite marks?"

Hey, these ain't just puny monkey teeth.

Komodo dragons, sharks, whiptails... All the cool animals are doing it. How long before humans figure out how to parthenogene...size?

By Chinchillazilla (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink

Please. Shark teeth were designed for cracking open water chestnuts, not for having sex.

As for Jesus, the Holy Scriptures make it abundantly clear that hammerheads were involved not at the beginning, but at the end, of his Earthly life.

Sharks remind me of the alien species from Alien: a virtually perfect organism, ideally adapted to survive in its environment.

I doubt 'perfect' can be very meaningful when discussing biology, but you've gotta admit, sharks are elegantly designed.

By Caledonian (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink

Did anyone check on what Troy McClure was doing nine months ago? When he said he spent a couple of days in the tank, I didn't think he meant...

...you've gotta admit, sharks are elegantly designed.

Still, the designer could provide some upgrades now and then. How about an optional swim bladder?

Komodo dragons, sharks, whiptails... All the cool animals are doing it. How long before humans figure out how to parthenogene...size?

Mammals do some imprinting that makes it impossible. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3643847.stm

(No idea if that holds for all mammals, though mice and men are rather closely related.)

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink

I'll third the Shriekback. I hear that song in my head every time I
read about hammerheads. Highly recommended. Apropos of nothing, but
sometime in mid 2001, I played that track, and my younger brother,
hearing it for probably the first or time in many years, remarked that
it sounded like a description of the Republican party...
'We are big and clever and we don't know anything' ...

"From what can be observed, it's always painful and involves lots of struggling."

You say that like it's a bad thing. Some people are into that, you know. ;)

Still, the designer could provide some upgrades now and then. How about an optional swim bladder?

Look, hammerheads already have placenta, next they'll be wanting warm-blood, like the Great White (and other lamnid sharks).

LOL... yeah I'm going to University of Nebraska Medical Center grad program right now and I agree with the boyfriend part! I had to bring a guy from Minnesota with me haha! Anyway I hope all is well :)

By Nissa Staffaroni (not verified) on 24 May 2007 #permalink

"You say that like it's a bad thing. Some people are into that, you know. ;)"

hahaha! rape is so funny!

interesting that only men think so, huh.

Or at least that Jesus was a hammerhead shark.

Or female. Or both.

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink

Komodo dragons, sharks, whiptails... All the cool animals are doing it. How long before humans figure out how to parthenogene...size?

Mammals do some imprinting that makes it impossible. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/3643847.stm

(No idea if that holds for all mammals, though mice and men are rather closely related.)

By David Marjanović (not verified) on 23 May 2007 #permalink