As I sat on the beach reading Ann Gibbons' The First Human this morning, I couldn't help think of the summer that could have been. For months I had a professor and some friends tell me "You really need to come out to Kenya" (specifically the Koobi Fora Field School). I attempted to stay positive, trying to figure out some way to put together the money to go, but as the spring semester got underway it soon became clear that I was not going to make it to Africa.
Being that I did not have the money or opportunity to go to Kenya I thought that I would try to start up my own research project closer to home. There were a number of things in the recent Faux and Padian paper on opisthotonus in dinosaurs that I felt were wrong and so I wanted to test the hypothesis in the paper by looking at what dessication and hyper-saline conditions would do to the bodies of mammals and long-necked birds (emu, rhea, ostrich, etc.) after death. I discussed this plan with one of my professors and started to gather some information, but the idea ultimately fizzled. I hope to revive it someday, but at present it looks like it is beyond my means & abilities.
Indeed, I'm certainly jealous of all the folks I know who are just embarking on their field seasons; I was hoping that this summer I would be able to get my hands dirty, too. Being that I wasn't accepted to work on the AMNH "perissodactyl project" and was rejected from a few other programs I applied for, museum work has been equally hard to find. Not having enough experience has definitely made it difficult to become involved in research, and this is made even more maddening because I cannot gain experience unless someone gives me the opportunity to do so. A tight budget and being pinned down in New Jersey has drastically narrowed my ability to try to find internships or programs elsewhere, too, so for now I just have to keep doing the best I can to teach myself.
Without a doubt, I'm hungry for fieldwork and I have a lot of questions that can't be answered by reading books or technical papers. Finding the ancient relatives of chimpanzees & gorillas; tracing the evolution of the dinocerata; studying the correlation of spinosaurids, carcharodontosaurids, and abelisauroids; looking into why there is one species of tapir in Indonesia and the rest in South America; and studying the taphonomy of mammals eaten by chimpanzees are just a few of the things that I would love to research at if I had the chance. I don't have the opportunity to study any of these questions right now and I may never get the chance to look at all of them, but the point is that I have some big questions that require more than just keeping up with the literature.
The next year is going to be a difficult one, but hopefully by this time in 2009 I'll have my undergraduate degree and will be able to move on to other things. It will still be an uphill battle (I've been told more than once that I should not bother trying to be a paleontologist and try to be a writer instead), but I have to keep fighting for the career I have so often affirmed that I want. The easy thing to do would be to believe everything negative that people have been saying about me and settle for a job that will make me miserable and regret my cowardice for the rest of my life. I am dead serious about wanting to find answers about the increasing number of questions I have about nature, and I certainly hope that I'll make more than a few nay-sayers eat their words.
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Don't get to down. Many of us have been where you are. As an undergrad I always wished I could be in the field where so many others I knew were. And there I was, a no one in Arkansas going no where. Persistence pays off, and while I might still be a no one to most, I have at least gotten somewhere (or to a few somewheres at least).
If you ever have the money and time you are always welcome to come out to Colorado/Utah and work with us. We can't pay sadly, but we can probably find a place for you to pitch your tent. If you ever have the time to get away just let me know, I always have plenty of friends (not including my own work) that need help! Seriously, think about it.
Focus and drive is what gets you from where you are to where you want to be.
One of the ways people get experience is by volunteering. Unfortunately, that's a luxury most of us can't afford--what with the whole trying to pay the bills and the rent kind of thing. However, perhaps there is something near you that you could volunteer to do on the weekends? A lot of zoos and museums have volunteer programs. It's not field work, but it's something.
I'm sorry so many things have not panned out for you for this summer. It's hard to stay positive in the face of that but remember there will be other summers and other opportunities. Don't give up on your dream of being a paleontologist! It may take you awhile to get there, and you may take a different route than most people do, but if being a paleontologist is truly what you want, then keep working toward making it happen.
So whatcha think about The First Human?
Have you tried the American Museum of Natural History in NYC Education Department? They pay minimum wage and will give you a Bus/Subway pass for the summer. One way to get something on your resume. Good luck...things will turn around when you least expect it...when you try.