A friend, Jerry, sent me the results of the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational. This is a competition where WaPo readers are asked to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Below the fold are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered to form a real word. Some are terrifically innovative:
- Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
- Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people, that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
- Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
- Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
- Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
- Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido: All talk and no action.
- Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
- Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
And the pick of the lot:
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I'm not sure if it's funny or sad, but a lot of these words can be directly to ID supporters - especially ignoranus!
I think we can add a couple of ATBC favorites:
Notpology - What Dr. Dembski does when forced to cover his buttocks.
Tardalicious - A particularly bad comment by a UD poster.
Ha! Birlliance!
Does Gish Gallop induce Dopeler Effect in the unsuspecting victims?
I suspect a few entries do not meet the criteria. Some look like combinations of two words, or have more than one letter changed. Examples: Decafalon, Caterpallor
I expect someone will correct me if I am wrong.
Arachnoleptic I challenge someone to show me how that was derived from a dictionary word by "adding, subtracting, or changing one letter."
Also the definition of bozone is not right. The bozone is an area surrounding stupid people, not a substance. The substance is a cloud of bozons.
Blobging: Splashing the screen with drops from a mouthful of coffee.
Narcholeptic - It is a weekly column, and the rules have changed through the years.
As always, YMMV if posts aren't sourced.
Moopheus:
"B-ozone" layer seems fine to me. Besides, I thought bozons mediated stupid ideas rather than screened stupid people?
Are you sure that was this year's contest? I'm pretty sure I've seen most of those before, and not too recently.
"Bozone" dates back to a Far Side cartoon which showed a layer of clowns "protecting the rest of the Solar System from the Earth's harmful effects".
This list dates back to 2003.
The Post's weekly contest is called the "Style Invitational", and it's a different contest each week. I did some research several months ago.