Professional Smartass is not a Wise Career Option

Dear XXXX,

Thank you for your rejection letter. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me a position.

This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet my needs at this time. Therefore, I will assume the position in your organization this August. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future applicants.

Sincerely,

me

.

Oh, and did you like my chalkboard message? You can create one of your own if you ask nicely.

.

More like this

Compared to the Swedish system, academic recruitment is extremely swift in the UK. In Scandyland, it's typically 7 months from the application deadline to the rejection letter, mainly because of slow external referees. The worst I've seen was 14 months. But in the UK, it's all done in a matter of…
tags: embargoed science, embargoes, publishing, MSM, journalism, science writing Image: Orphaned? Embargoes: you either love them or hate them, and I hate them. No, let me rephrase: I despise embargoes. In fact, science story embargoes have been my daily rant for literally years. No, really.…
The Female Science Professor has a post talking about types of reference letters. Much of what she says is fairly specific to letters relating to prizes or promotions, but some of her comments are perfectly applicable to the junior faculty job search letters I've been reading by the bucketload…
Chad has an interesting post explaining the timescale of a faculty search at his college. One of the rate-determining steps he notes in the process is the posting of the job (and its deadline for applications): So, why does it take so long? Well, to start with, you need to post the job and set…

Very nice. Sometimes I like to apply for high powered positions I know I'll never get because they are nice enough to send a letter telling me to bugger off. If you fail to meet the criteria at Wendy's you don't even get a phone call.

By CaptainMike (not verified) on 27 Jun 2006 #permalink

the same thing is true for adjunct professor positions: they never tell you squat about what happened or if they even received your application package.

oh, wait. being an adjunct professor is equivalent to working at Wendy's except, as an adjunct, you don't receive any health insurance, sick leave, vacation pay or any other benefits, you eat better as an employee of Wendy's, and generally, your pay is worse as an adjunct, too.

silly me, where did i leave my rose-colored glasses this time??