Sometimes we collect stuff that we think no one else wants. Sometimes, maybe we should be anti-librarians and erase from all human memory things that should never have existed.
Kind of like that scene in The Ten Commandments where The Pharaoh orders all mention of Moses be obliterated from monuments and records.
I kind of like The Onion's take on it, Library of Congress Adds 3 Titles To List Of Films That Should Be Destroyed Forever:
The Library of Congress announced this year's selections for the National Film Incineration Project on Tuesday, naming three titles it had chosen to permanently eradicate for the sake of future generations. ... NFIP president Lawrence Feldman said as workers shoveled every known copy of Hollow Man 2, Nights In Rodanthe, and Rock Star into a furnace burning at 6,000 degrees Fahrenheit. "I'd like to thank our librarians for their painstaking work combing thrift stores for VHS tapes and personally deleting every known digital version of these unremarkable films."
What would you add to the list? Or more precisely, what would you subtract from human memory?
I'll vote for The Phantom Menace.
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I think the worst movie I ever sat all the way through was Splitting Heirs. I had to sit all the way through it as I was on an airplane at the time. I actually watched only about half.
"What would you add to the list?"
No snark here - serious:
Titanic
Officer and a Gentleman (and its twin: Pretty Woman)
Gone With the Wind
Any movie with Adam Sandler
Eyes Wide Shut. I wanted to sue somebody to get those two interminable hours back.
Moulin Rouge... POS that I just couldn't finish...
Chicago was a close second.
Andy Warhol's Frankenstein. An American Werewolf in Paris.
Expelled.
Also, Expelled.
Did I mention Expelled?
Yes, but if you threw out the worst then how would you know that the next-to-worst wasn't actually the worst? By induction, you'd end up with throwing everything away.
Titanic. Really? Keep Titanic and throw out Troll 2 & You Got Served.
Anything and everything to do with Richard M. Nixon.
/Woody Allen
Thanks, everyone. Keep 'em coming!
BTW, Colin, I think you're assuming the universe is creating bad movies slower than librarians can erase them from civilization. Will Ferrell alone is making bad movies faster than the LoC can destroy them. At best I believe we can hope for an awfulness steady state.
Secret of NIMH 2.
Actually, I think 80% of sequels should be thrown to the flames. Movies so bad they actually make the original worse.
Gigli. Now. Do it!
Solve the problem at its source and chuck the movie studios into the furnace.
</snark>
Great idea, blf. That way we'd all be left with weird-ass Canadian and Scandinavian indie films!
Religion.