World Cup - commentating lows

Ok, I caught 5 mins of ESPN coverage this afternoon (during a commercial break in SpongeBob), and the commentator is standing in a suit, on an open floor, holding a soccer ball.

Why is he doing that?

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Oh Steinn, count yourself lucky if thats your low. Try a graphic
covering half the screen *during play* inviting you to do such
inane things as "Vote for man of the match" (and then they don't
even have on the list the guy who scored one and made a second in
the last 5 minutes).

I used to think Australian cricket commentators were f***wits...

I am counting myself lucky I got to see any at all - actually ended up seeing much of the ARG-GHA match. Bastards. (I was in the UK during the hand-of-god match and got permanently swept up in the ambiance...)
Big Kid is getting into this now that she has actually played. May even let me watch a game by the end of the month.

What I don't get is the @$#%R@# statistics.
Football is not baseball (actually most of the stats make no sense in baseball either).

Why do I care if Argentina only loses 15% of the time if they score a goal first in an opening round match against a non-South American side with left handed goalie...
What matters is that they get defensive and shut down a fun game.